Overcoming Pregnancy Fears
I always tell my clients that during pregnancy, the best thing to do is to turn off the "Birth Channel" and stop having conversations with people about their childbirth experiences, unless these are positive and uplifting. I ﬁnd that it's best to create distance from others who try to impose their negative thoughts and images on us. This negativity could potentially create fear and, worse, cut off the possibility that childbirth will be a rewarding experience. You don't want to build your objective reality around someone else's story.
My Eggs Are Rusty?
The common fear-based conversation about difﬁculties in conception, especially for women over thirty-ﬁve, is that "You are too old, your eggs are too old, and this is never going to happen." This conversation is very limiting and is wrong on several counts. Although many women don't understand the limitations of the reproductive system, there are others who are spreading false information and changing the context of this conversation. First, it is true that as we get older, it becomes more difﬁcult to become pregnant.
Creating Context For Your Birthing Experience
You already have a context or a perspective about everything you do in life - your relationships, your work, your body, your family - and this way of viewing things, your vantage point, manifests in what you say and do. Just as your current context creates the life you have, these same components will affect your pregnancy and birthing experience. In this chapter, you will have the opportunity to allow yourself to dream and think through what you really want the birth of your child to be like.
Your BornClear Pregnancy Toolbox
The BornClear toolbox combines many relaxation methods that you can use throughout your pregnancy and during childbirth. A lot of these methods fully integrate the mind and the body, teaching you a variety of ways that you can connect with your body-and your baby. Mastering these tools gives you the ability to temporarily shut out life's distractions and truly listen, hearing and feeling yourself and your baby at the deepest levels. These exercises include visualizations, meditations, afﬁrmations, writing exercises...
I believe that if you have complete knowledge that encompasses the entirety of the process, you will be able to gain both clarity and power during the birth, so that you won't focus on the pain. The rest of this book will teach you how to work with your baby, your mind, and your body, to bring your child into this world, based on your context, in the most loving and comfortable ways possible.
It is important to read this material as early as possible in your pregnancy. This way you can begin to develop a general framework for understanding the birthing process, layered with your new expectations and ideals, while always keeping your context in mind.
The birth of your child is nothing less than an extraordinary feat of nature that involves an intricate sequence of events. Every pregnancy is different, and every childbirth is different. Yet most follow the same prescribed path of what physically unfolds in the body.
The onset of labor is the ofﬁcial point at which labor begins. It marks the beginning of contractions or other signs that the baby is ready and your body is warming up. Think of it as an orchestra that is getting ready to play a symphony, and all of the sections are warming up
These seven steps provide a road map for how to work with your birth plan:
1. Conﬁrm your context (your list of desires) in writing with your partner. This will be your mission statement for the birth. Add any of your own statements to this wish list as well:
I would like my birth to be (add your adjectives here). I am planning to deliver my baby at __________________. I would like a (doctor, doula, midwife) to be present at the birth. Others who will be present include ____________________.
Many people believe that once their baby is born, the hard work of pregnancy is over. Others decide, consciously or otherwise, to forgo preparing ahead of time for the first several months after the baby is born. But the thought of winging it may cause sub-conscious anxiety that you could take into childbirth. Just as you initially distinguished the context for your childbirth, it is now time to create a new context for the next phase of your life.This chapter focuses on the details you should consider now in order to create a context for after the birth. Just as you aligned with your birth team, you must align with a pediatrician. You will need to get your house in order and prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the coming baby.
The way we have come to expect a “traditional” pregnancy and birthing to look and feel has dramatically changed in our modern, technically enhanced times. The once customary rite of passage, with its inherent understanding that women were designed to give birth, has morphed into a sterile and oftentimes lonely medical procedure. This shift in thinking has inadvertently led us into an era where many women feel as if they are bringing new life into this world without really being present for the experience.